beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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