I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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