Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
