You just made me feel so damn special
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I deserve this hangover.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
