you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
