you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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