I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
