party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
