i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
