you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
