Your tits are I can't wait for
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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