I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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