he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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