I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
