so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
