I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
