No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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