2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
