i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
