she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
