and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
