why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
