the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's just like the Real World with babies
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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