they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
