So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
