There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
