We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Found your dick twin last night
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
