i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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