it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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