i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
