Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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