let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
