Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
