Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
