well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
