Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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