grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
