my soul wont recognize me after tonight
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
