just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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