no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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