and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
