yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
