Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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