I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
