Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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