Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This house was built for laser tag.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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