i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dignity is for republicans.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
