She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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