They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
