i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
